Fact Sheets And Publications
The Tale of Family Meetings
Revised August 2025 by: Kayla Hayes, Written by: Pat Tanner Nelson, Ed.D. Former Extension Family & Human Development Specialist
Ideas For Family Meetings
Family Time together can be a good time for all!
A family meeting can be a time to:
Have fun together.
Listen to each other.
Talk to each other.
Schedule family duties and chores.
Plan family fun.
Make decisions together.
Download this comic publication, The Tale of Family Meetings >>
Tips for holding family meetings:
1. Schedule Meetings Consistently and Respect Time
Hold meetings at a regular, pleasant time, such as after dinner. Try not to exceed 20-30 minutes of scheduled meeting time, unless the family chooses to continue.
Begin and end on time to respect everyone’s time and maintain engagement.
Assign a timekeeper to give a 10-minute warning before the meeting ends. If needed, decide as a group whether to extend the time or schedule a follow-up meeting.
2. Rotate Roles and Responsibilities
Create leadership roles like discussion leader, timekeeper, secretary, or rule-keeper.
Parents can model leadership skills at first, then rotate roles to include older children as they gain confidence.
Roles should match developmental abilities; for younger kids, consider co-leading with a parent or assigning simpler tasks.
The secretary can record key decisions, upcoming events, and goals on a shared calendar or in a family journal to review at the next meeting.
3. Create a Safe, Respectful Environment
Set and explain clear ground rules, such as “one person speaks at a time” and “listen to understand.”
Encourage all family members to speak openly without fear of punishment, criticism, or being interrupted.
Use "I" statements to express feelings (“I feel frustrated when…”), which helps avoid defensiveness and encourages empathy.
4. Focus on One Issue at a Time
Stick to topics that impact the whole family. Avoid turning the meeting into a space for scolding or bringing up past mistakes.
The leader should gently redirect off-topic comments and summarize when needed to keep the conversation on track.
Allow different ways for people to express themselves. Talking, writing, drawing, or role-playing may be helpful, especially for younger children.
5. Use a Collaborative Problem-Solving Approach
After identifying a specific issue, begin the discussion by reflecting on positives/successes related to the issue
Brainstorm solutions together and agree on a plan. Remember to use “I” statements and consider everyone’s needs.
If emotions run high, anyone can call a short break to cool down before continuing.
6. Make Decisions by Consensus
Aim for decisions that everyone can live with—not just what the majority wants or what one person decides.
Confirm consensus by summarizing: “So, we’re all agreeing to… Does anyone have any major concerns?”
If someone raises an objection, revisit the issue and explore other options.
7. Celebrate Progress and Share Positives
Acknowledge successes, efforts, and improvements.
Use meetings to distribute allowances or rewards if applicable, and recognize personal and family achievements.
Share upcoming family news or events to keep everyone informed.
8. Reflect and Improve
Before ending, invite feedback: “What worked well today?” or “What could we do better next time?”
End with something fun like a game, snack, or favorite family activity. This can build positive associations with family time.
9. Respect Family Structure
Everyone should feel heard, but it's important that children understand parents have the final say on significant decisions.
Parents should monitor emotional cues and pause the meeting if someone seems uncomfortable or overwhelmed.
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