Category: Cooperative Extension
De-Stress Your Holidays: Put Protective Factors in Place Now
October 05, 2026 Written by: Jennifer Seabrook-Scott, Health & Well-Being Extension Agent
It’s coming up on that time of year again: forced social interactions, loneliness and/or grief, and financial strain. To counter these holiday stressors, we can build protective factors now.
Protective factors are conditions, attributes, or resources that help people deal more effectively with stressful life events. They act as a psychological shield; while they don't eliminate life challenges, they reduce negative impacts and prevent deeper harm.
Financial Strain
For work gifts, a Secret Santa with a strict dollar limit helps with budgeting and lightens financial stress. For family and friends, a budget is paramount. Make a list of items for each person, then choose them based on your overall budget. Base your budget on a comfortable financial capacity. A budget helps curb compulsive spending, reduce overdrafts and post-holiday debt, and ease overall financial stress.
Other low-cost gifting strategies include a "White Elephant" exchange, drawing names, or gifting experiences/services (e.g., babysitting, homemade meals) instead of physical items.
Uncomfortable Social Gatherings
Setting boundaries and time limits helps in social situations. Setting boundaries in advance around discussion topics and visit duration puts you in control of your time, energy, and mental well-being, transforming uncomfortable social gatherings into a manageable, enjoyable experience. For example:
Establish your scripts/phrases. People often struggle with how to set boundaries politely yet firmly. Here are 2 direct scripts you can try:
For touchy topics: "I’m keeping my holiday debate-free this year, but tell me about [safer topic]!"
For time limits: "I’m so glad I could come! I have to head out at 8:00 p.m., but I wanted to make sure I saw everyone."
Establish your exit strategy. Have a pre-planned signal with a partner or an agreed-upon departure time before arriving at the event.
Take micro-breaks during long events (e.g., stepping outside for 5 minutes or taking a quiet moment in the bathroom) to regulate sensory and emotional overload.
Loneliness & Grief
Spending time with people you have chosen as your family and friends, as well as neighbors and community groups, is a great way to combat loneliness and grief. Community groups could include volunteering at a local food drive, attending a neighborhood library event, joining a winter walking group, or participating in an online special-interest group.
If you are looking for low-effort interactions with others (such as attending an event or a public movie screening), it can ease loneliness without the pressure of heavy conversation.
Also, creating a small intentional ritual to remember your loved one, such as lighting a candle or telling stories, helps with processing grief instead of suppressing it. Examples of other grief rituals could be:
Setting a dedicated memory plate or seat at the table.
Make an ornament in their honor.
Cook a loved one’s favorite recipe.
Write them a letter.
Set aside 15 dedicated minutes to listen to music they loved, and let yourself feel without distraction.
References:
American Psychological Association. (2023, November 30). Even a joyous holiday season can cause stress for most Americans [Press release]. https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2023/11/holiday-season-stress