If the Youth is Being Bullied:

• Acknowledge: "I'm so sorry this is happening to you. It's not fair, and it's not your fault." "Thanks for opening up to me. I am here to support you.”

• Understand: "Can you tell me more about what's been happening? What are they saying or doing?"

• Validate: "It's okay to feel scared/sad/angry. Those are normal feelings when you are experiencing______________”

• Problem-Solve/ Explore Options: "Let's think about what we can do to stop it. Do you want to talk to a teacher, the principal, or another trusted adult?"/ "What have you tried so far? What do you think would help? What are your gut feelings?"

• Safety: "Your safety is the most important thing. I want to make sure you feel safe at school and online."

• Empower: "You have the right to feel safe and respected. Let's explore your options for taking action!"

• Action: "Together, we'll make a plan. We can talk to [trusted adult], report the bullying, or find ways to avoid the bully."

• Reassure: "You're not alone in this. I'm here for you, and we'll get through this together."

• Resources: "There are people who care and want to support you. Let’s figure it out."

Phrases to Use:

• "That's not okay, and you don't deserve that."

• "It's not your fault. You didn't do anything to cause this."

• "I'm here to listen, and I'll help you find a way to stop it."

• "We'll work together to find people who can help you."

• "I can see that this is affecting you, and that sucks."

• "Your feelings are important, and they deserve to be respected."

• "What are some options? Let's do something."

If the Youth is Bullying Others:

Conversation Steps:

• Acknowledge: "I heard some things that you did. This isn't ok! Can you explain to me what these actions/behaviors are about? Tell me why you are handling things this way."

• Consequences: "The things that you have done have hurt people, and what you do to others matters.  I am with you through this process, but you should know that there will be negative consequences for what you have done."

• Impact: "What you do, and how you behave, matters."

• Empathy: “Remember it’s important for you to think about how you would feel if someone did that/said that, to you.”

• Expectations: "This behavior has to end, tell me what would help to deal with these feelings of (anger/rage/fear/etc…)"

General Guidelines for Talking About Suicide with Youth:

• Choose the Right Time and Place: Find a quiet, private setting where you can talk without interruptions. Avoid having the conversation when you are rushed, stressed, or distracted.

• Stay Calm and Non-Judgmental: Approach the conversation with empathy and understanding. Avoid reacting with shock, fear, or anger.

• Listen More Than You Talk: Allow the youth to express their feelings and experiences without interruption (unless safety is an immediate concern).

• Use Direct and Clear Language: Avoid euphemisms or vague language. Use the word "suicide" to ensure clarity and avoid confusion.

Ask Direct Questions (If Necessary):

If you suspect a youth is considering suicide, it's okay to ask directly. Research shows that asking about suicide does not increase the risk and can provide relief.

• "Have you been having thoughts of hurting yourself?"

• "Have you been thinking about suicide?"

• "Have you thought about how you would do it?"
   

Validate Their Feelings:

Acknowledge and validate their emotions, even if you don't fully understand them.

• "I can see that you're struggling right now, and it's okay to feel this way."

• "It sounds like you're going through a lot, and I want you to know that I'm here for you."

Reassure Them They Are Not Alone:

Let them know that many people experience suicidal thoughts, and help is available.

• "You're not alone in this. Many people have these thoughts, and it doesn't mean you're weak."

• Emphasize That Suicide Is Not a Solution: Convey that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

  • "Suicide is never the answer. There are always other options, and things can get better."

  • "I know it might feel like there's no way out right now, but there is hope. We can find a way to make things better."

• Offer Hope and Encouragement: Highlight their strengths, past successes, and reasons for living.

  • "You're a strong and resilient person. You've overcome challenges before, and you can do it again."

  • "I know you have a lot to offer the world, and I want to help you find ways to feel better."

• Offer Support and Resources: Provide information about available resources (e.g., school counselors, mental health professionals, hotlines, websites).

  • "There are people who care about you and want to help. We can find a therapist or counselor who can support you."

  • "I can give you some phone numbers and websites where you can talk to someone right away."

• Create a Safety Plan (If Necessary): If the youth is actively considering suicide, work with them to develop a safety plan that includes:

  • Identifying warning signs.

  • Listing coping strategies.

  • Listing people they can contact for support.

  • Identifying a safe place to go.

  • Removing potential means of self-harm.

• Involve Parents/Guardians (If Appropriate): Unless there is a compelling reason not to, involve the youth's parents or guardians in the conversation.

  • "I think it would be helpful to talk to your parents about this. They care about you and want to support you."

• Seek Professional Help: Encourage the youth to seek professional help from a mental health professional.

  • "It's important to talk to a therapist or counselor who can help you work through these feelings."

Follow Up:

Check in with the youth regularly to see how they're doing and offer ongoing support.

• "I will check in regularly to see how you're doing. Please know that you can always talk to me about anything."

Conversation Steps:

Check-In: "How have you been feeling lately? I’m here to listen, you can tell me anything."

Normalize: "It's normal to feel overwhelmed. Let’s breathe a little."

Professional Help: "There are people who can help you!

Reassure: "You are not going to feel like this always”.

Mental health resources for youth in Delaware.

The Trevor Project
Crisis services for LGBTQ+ youth 
Text ‘START’ to 678-678

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1-800-273-TALK (8255) or 988

Crisis Text Line
Text ‘DE’ to 741741

Sean’s House
Open 24/7 for High School and College students
(302) 294-6134
136 W. Main Street, Newark, DE

Help is Here-www.helpisherede.com