Model siblings
Photos by iStock, Kathy F. Atkinson and courtesy of Mellissa S. Gordon August 19, 2026
UD Associate Professor Mellissa S. Gordon shares new research on the associations between birth order and sibling gender in adolescents’ coping strategies
Growing up as the oldest sibling to a younger brother and sister shaped the way that University of Delaware Associate Professor Mellissa S. Gordon learned to communicate and cope with challenges. As a single parent, her mother often looked to Gordon to set an example and, over time, she found herself acting as a parental figure. When her siblings struggled to express frustrations or felt overwhelmed by school and friendships, they often came to her for advice, and they talked through problems together.
Now, Gordon is studying this sibling dynamic as an adolescent development researcher in UD’s College of Education and Human Development (CEHD). In a new study published in Behavioral Sciences, CEHD alum Megha Garg, Gordon and her co-author Christine M. Ohannessian of Florida State University examine whether birth order and sibling gender pairs are significantly associated with adolescents’ use of coping strategies. After analyzing data from nearly 1,500 adolescents in the Northeast, they found that birth order and sibling gender affected an adolescent’s use of coping strategies in surprising ways.
Gordon and her team expected birth order to significantly predict adolescents’ use of coping strategies. For example, they anticipated older siblings to report using coping strategies more often than younger siblings. They also expected that siblings in same-gender pairs would use them more often than those in mixed-gender pairs.
“Our predictions aligned with family systems theory, which identifies patterns of behavior in family units and assigns certain roles to siblings, based on birth order,” Gordon explained. “For example, like I did, older siblings often play the role of ‘hero,’ displaying ‘model’ behavior for their younger siblings and helping their family address issues or problems.”
Surprisingly, the research team found mixed results when it came to birth order. When the adolescent and their sibling were in a same-gender pair, birth order was not associated with their use of any of the coping strategies addressed in the study.
But birth order did play a role when the adolescent and their sibling were in a mixed-gender pair. In these cases, being older than the sibling increased the likelihood of the adolescents’ use of coping strategies — a finding novel to this study.
“Previous research has shown that same-gender siblings have closer relationships than mixed-gender siblings during adolescence. For that reason, we expected more modeling to take place among older sisters and younger sisters or older brothers and younger brothers,” Garg said. “But we didn’t see that here. Our finding that the older sibling engages in more coping strategies within a mixed-gender pair is new.”
Sibling gender was also associated with the type of coping strategy that an adolescent used — active coping (a deliberate effort to remove or cope with a stressful situation), distraction coping (an effort to distract yourself from thinking about a problem) or problem-solving coping (confronting an event or situation that is causing distress).
The team found that, when the adolescent was the older sibling, being in a same gender pair decreased the likelihood of active and problem-focused coping strategies. But when the adolescent was the younger sibling, there was no association between the adolescents’ use of any of three coping strategies.
“Our study reveals a very nuanced portrait of sibling and gender dynamics within a family unit, especially during adolescence, which, in itself, is a very rapid and complex period of human development,” Gordon said. “Most importantly, our study shows that we can’t make assumptions about an adolescent’s development based on birth order, gender or sibling dynamics alone.”
Takeaways for school psychologists and counselors
Since siblings typically spend about 50% of their time together during early adolescence, the team suggests that therapists, school psychologists and other counselors consider the presence of siblings to improve an adolescent’s coping strategies. For example, providers could incorporate siblings into therapy sessions and recognize them as active participants in the family system.
“School psychologists often benefit from considering sibling relationships as influential components of students’ home and school environments, and Gordon’s research is a good reminder of the importance of these relationships,” said Brittany Zakszeski, an assistant professor specializing in school psychology in CEHD’s School of Education. “For example, school psychologists may assess sibling relationships as they think about student strengths or needs and leverage supportive sibling relationships within school- and family-based interventions.”
The research team also encourages practitioners who work with at-risk youth to include a sibling relationship assessment that includes gender and birth order as part of a routine screening tool. With this information, school counselors and therapists could develop educational sessions or interventions for adolescents to teach them healthy coping strategies, particularly in their family environment.
“This work is part of my broader line of research suggesting that supportive parent–adolescent communication, combined with positive sibling relationships, can foster more adaptive coping strategies during adolescence,” Gordon said. “Rather than facing difficulties alone, having open communication within the family and close relationships with siblings encourages problem-solving, emotional support and resilience in the face of everyday challenges.”
To learn more about CEHD research in school psychology, social-emotional development or the social determinants of health, visit its research webpage.
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