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Healthy Relationships

At some point, most people think about or question how healthy their romantic relationship is. Check out the chart below, which provides a good contrast between relationships that are healthy and relationships that might be abusive. If you find that your relationship has even just one or two characteristics listed in the right-hand column, it may help you to talk to someone about your relationship. You may be in an unhealthy, or even abusive relationship.

All healthy relationships function based on mutual respect. When basic respect is missing, abuse is more likely to occur. Learn more from a Delaware website about developing Safe and Respectful relationships where you can take the "Check Yourself" Quiz, view innovative Public Service Announcements made by Delaware teens, and read about becoming a Courageous Bystander (just to list a few great features!) Then check out Virginia's Red Flag Campaign to help you identify behaviors of concern.

In a healthy relationship, you...	In an unhealthy relationship, you...
Communicate openly & honestly.	Are afraid of the other's reaction or temper.
Feel physically & emotionally safe.	Feel threatened or like you are "walking on eggshells" around the other person.
Take interest in and support each other's lives: goals, ideas, interests, friends, etc.	Discourage the other person's goals, ideas, interests, friends, etc.
Permit and have privacy.	One tries to control the other: what they wear, who they spend time with, what they do, etc.
Trust one another.	Are overly jealous and possessive.
Feel valued and cared for.	One makes the other person feel badly about him/herself.
Treat each other with respect.	One puts the other person down, calls names.
Enjoy the time you spend together.	Feel afraid of the other person.
Can resolve conflicts in a non-abusive manner.	Make threats, throw objects; push, grab, hit, punch, push, slap, or harm the other person.
Respect each other's need for space.	Don't allow the other person to leave during an argument.
Have outside friends.	Seeing other friends is discouraged.
Make decisions together.	Only one makes decisions; makes the other feel as though they can't make sound decisions.
Participate in sexual activity by free choice.	One pressures the other to participate in sexual activity.
Both partners feel good about themselves and each other.	One partner feels manipulated by the other and feels badly about self.

Talk more about your relationship:

• If you are interested in talking with someone about your relationship, you can call S.O.S. 24 hours a day at 831-2226 to be put in touch with an S.O.S. volunteer; or you can make an appointment to meet with Angela at Wellspring during business hours by calling 831-3457. You may also wish to make an appointment with a Counselor at the Center for Counseling and Student Development by calling 831-2141.
• If you would like to participate in a support group for people in abusive relationships or seek counseling about your relationship, you may wish to contact Child, Inc. at 762-8989 for more information about their extensive services.
• If you are the victim of Intimate Partner Violence or Domestic Violence, you may wish to apply for a Protection From Abuse Order (PFA), which would legally prohibit the perpetrator from coming into contact with you. You may apply for a PFA when intimate partner violence has occurred regardless of your relationship status: past or present partners; married or unmarried; living together or separately; teenagers, young adults, or older adult partners; share a child or not; or oppositte-sex or same-sex partners. If you wish to obtain a PFA in New Castle County, Delaware, you need to go to Family Court to apply. There is an excellent Domestic Violence Advocacy Program providing assistance to victims through the court process to obtain a PFA. Call 255-0420 to reach DVAP.

Information & Intimate Partner Violence Resources:

Child, INC. (Provides counseling, shelters, groups, parenting help, and information for teens and adults in Delaware regarding Intimate Partner Violence.)
Choose Respect
Dating Violence Resource Center
Delaware Coalition Against Domestic Violence
Domestic Violence Coordinating Council
Love is Respect
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
National Domestic Violence Hotline (Teen Dating Violence Information)
Red Flag Campaign (A Virginia resource to help you recognize unhealthy behaviors.)
Safe and Respectful Relationships for All (A Delaware resource to help you develop healthy relationships!)

If you are the victim of physical violence or sexual assault by an intimate partner, and you need immediate assistance, call 911 for police or ambulance.

To seek crisis support and victim advocacy 24 hrs a day from an SOS Victim Advocate, call 831-2226. The person who answers will take a first name and phone number and you will be called back within 10 minutes.

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Wellspring Student Wellness Program • 231 South College Ave. Newark, DE 19716 • 302-831-3457