At UD, sexual assault prevention programs are now offered year-round, but nationally, April is recognized as Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Check out all the UD SAPE events in April, from the Walk a Mile in Her Shoes March, to S.O.S.' new "Changing the Conversation: Story of a Night" program, to SAGE's annual Take Back the Night March & Speak-Out! Come for CAP points, to learn how to help a friend, to advocate for change, to get a free t-shirt, or to Speak Out! And every day, help make UD safer by recognizing dangerous situations, supporting each other, and intervening in a safe way.
Healthy Relationships vs. Intimate Partner Violence
At some point, most people think about or question how healthy their romantic relationship is. Check out the chart below, which provides a good contrast between relationships that are healthy and relationships that might be abusive. If you find that your relationship has even just one or two characteristics listed in the right-hand column, it may help you to talk to someone about your relationship. You may be in an unhealthy, or even abusive relationship.
Healthy relationships function based on mutual respect, trust, equality, honesty, and open communication. Both partners in a healthy relationship maintain their own separate identities, and both partners share in decision making. When basic respect is missing, abuse is more likely to occur. Relationships are abusive when they involve use of intimidation, coersion, pressure, manipulation, one person controlling the other, put-downs or name-calling, or violence.
Click to listen to our DV Counselor Jenn Ewald's Sept 4th interview with WVUD.
|In a healthy relationship, you...||In an unhealthy relationship, you...|
|Communicate openly & honestly.||Are afraid of the other's reaction or temper.|
|Feel physically & emotionally safe.||Feel threatened or like you are "walking on eggshells" around the other person.|
|Take interest in and support each other's lives: goals, ideas, interests, friends, etc.||Discourage the other person's goals, ideas, interests, friends, etc.|
|Permit and have privacy.||One tries to control the other: what they wear, who they spend time with, what they do, etc.|
|Trust one another.||Are overly jealous and possessive.|
|Feel valued and cared for.||One makes the other person feel badly about him/herself.|
|Treat each other with respect.||One puts the other person down, calls names.|
|Enjoy the time you spend together.||Feel afraid of the other person.|
|Can resolve conflicts in a non-abusive manner.||Make threats, throw objects, push, grab, hit, punch, push, slap, hold down, or otherwise harm the person..|
|Respect each other's need for space.||Don't allow the other person to leave during an argument.|
|Have outside friends.||Seeing other friends is discouraged.|
|Make decisions together.||Only one makes decisions; makes the other feel as though they can't make sound decisions.|
|Participate in sexual activity by free choice.||One pressures the other to participate in sexual activity, or forces them against their will.|
|Both partners feel good about themselves and each other.||One partner feels manipulated by the other and feels badly about self.|
Learn more from a Delaware website about developing Safe and Respectful relationships where you can take the "Check Yourself" Quiz, view innovative Public Service Announcements made by Delaware teens, and read about becoming a Courageous Bystander (just to list a few great features!) Then check out Virginia's Red Flag Campaign to help you identify behaviors of concern or to view warning signs in a graphic art style illustration, visit Friends of Rosalind.
To learn more, talk about your relationship, or seek help:
- If you need emergency assistance, call 911 for police or ambulance.
- If you are in crisis and would like to talk with someone about your relationship, call S.O.S. 24 hours a day at 302-831-2226 to be put in touch with an S.O.S. volunteer.
- To make an appointment with our DV Counselor Jenn Ewald or SOS Coordinator Angela Seguin at Student Wellness & Health Promotion during business hours, call 302-831-3457. Jenn is available on Wednesdays and Thursdays for appointments.
- If you are interested in a Relationships Support Group, make an appointment with Jenn at Student Wellness, 302-831-3457.
- If your partner is abusive and you wish to seek the safety of a Domestic Violence shelter, call the Delaware Domestic Violence hotline at 302-762-6110. We also have Emergency Housing available on-campus. To access Emergency Housing, contact S.O.S. through our 24 hour service, 302-831-2226. This number goes to Student Health. They will take a first name & phone number and the advocate will call you back within 10 minutes.
- Learn about services off-campus provided by Child, Inc. at 302-762-8989.
- If you are in an unhealthy relationship, it may be helpful to develop a Safety Plan. You can meet with the SOS Coordinator or the DV Counselor at Student Wellness & Health Promotion to learn more about your options and develop a Safety Plan. Call 831-3457 to set up an appointment. To get started, Break the Cycle has a good Safety Plan Worksheet for college students.
- If you are the victim of Intimate Partner Violence or Domestic Violence, you may wish to apply for a Protection From Abuse Order (PFA), which would legally prohibit the perpetrator from coming into contact with you. You may apply for a PFA when intimate partner violence has occurred regardless of your relationship status: past or present partners; married or unmarried; living together or separately; teenagers, young adults, or older adult partners; share a child or not; or oppositte-sex or same-sex partners. If you wish to obtain a PFA in New Castle County, Delaware, you need to go to Family Court to apply. There is an excellent Domestic Violence Advocacy Program providing assistance to victims through the court process to obtain a PFA. Call 302-255-0420 to reach DVAP.
Child, INC. (Provides counseling, shelters, groups, parenting help, and information for teens and adults in Delaware regarding Intimate Partner Violence.)
Dating Violence Resource Center
Delaware Coalition Against Domestic Violence
Domestic Violence Coordinating Council
Love is Respect
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
National Domestic Violence Hotline (Teen Dating Violence Information)
Red Flag Campaign (A Virginia resource to help you recognize unhealthy behaviors.)
Safe and Respectful Relationships for All (A Delaware resource about healthy relationships!)
To seek crisis support and victim advocacy 24 hrs a day from an SOS Victim Advocate, call 302-831-2226. The person who answers will take a first name and phone number and you will be called back within 10 minutes.
Delaware's Annual Crime Victims' Tribute & Candlelight Vigil
Delaware State University, Multi-Purpose Rooms, MLK Student Center, Dover
Speaker: UD Alumni and Survivor, Kristen Baumer, was abducted as a freshman at UD. She will speak about her experience. She is part of the RAPE Outreach Team and has shared her story on The Biography Network's "I Survived" and the I.D. Network's "House of Horrors: Kidnapped." Kristen hopes that she can make a difference in others' lives by sharing her story. Those affected by crime are invited to bring writings, artwork or other meaningful items to be posted on the Memorial Walls which will be on display at the event. See the flyer. Sponsored by Delaware Victims' Rights Task Force. Calll 1-800-Victim1 if you need accommodations or information. See the flyer. Free and open to the public.
Art Party with Opt4
Central Green in front of Gore
Come out for Tie-dyeing, decorating Opt4 shirts, finger paint, puffy paint, glitter glue, bubbles, and mocktails. Sponsored by Opt4.
QUIZZO: Fundraiser for Natasha's Justice Project
Trabant Multi-Purpose Rooms
SAGE is hosting Quizzo to raise money for Natasha’s Justice Project. The organization was created by Natasha Alexenko, a sexual assault survivor, who has made it her life’s work to advocate for the elimination of the rape kit backlog in the United States. Natasha’s story is featured in the HBO Documentary Sex Crimes Unit, which was shown as part of the Women & Gender Studies Department's Film Series in March. Sponsored by Students Acting for Gender Equity (SAGE).
Changing the Conversation: The Story of a Night
It's time to change the conversation around sexual assault. In this program, you will hear Jane's story and be part of transforming societal responses. Learn how you, and all of us, can make a difference in Jane's life and in the lives of other survivors. Start changing the conversation right now! Presented by S.O.S. and sponsored by UD's Sexual Assault Prevention & Education Committee.
Walk a Mile in Her Shoes
Speaker & Shoes at Trabant Theater
Be on the lookout for your favorite fraternity brothers, male professors and staff as they don four-inch bright red stiletto heels to march around the north green. This will be a fun opportunity for men to educate and inspire the campus community to take action in the prevention of sexual violence, and learn about resources for victims on campus like Sexual Offense Support (S.O.S.). A limited number of men-sized high heel shoes will be provided, so come early to reserve your pair of shoes for this popular march (or feel free to bring your own high heels!). As the saying goes, you cannot truly understand another person's experiences until you have "walked a mile in their shoes." For more information about the national campaign, visit www.walkamileinhershoes.org. Sponsored by Inter-Fraternity Council as part of UD's Sexual Assault Awareness Month.
Where Do You Stand? - Human Continuum Exercise
This program will help you clarify where you stand regarding a variety of sexual situations and whether they rise to the level of sexual harassment, sexual assault, or sexual abuse. Presented by S.O.S. for Sexual Assault Awareness Month and sponsored by UD's Sexual Assault Prevention & Education Committee.
Powerful Partnerships Conference: 20 Years of the Violence Against Women Act and the Path Ahead
The Department of Women and Gender Studies at the University of Delaware and the Delaware Coalition Against Domestic Violence are co-hosting this conference which will highlight the power of partnerships in working to end gender violence. The conference will create a unique space for survivors, community activists, advocates, researchers, business leaders, and government officials from across the nation to come together to share findings, best practices, and lessons learned and to foster trust, resilient relationships, and innovate strategies for addressing gender-based violence as we look forward to the future. A variety of workshops, roundtables, panel presentations, and poster sessions integrating research and practice will be offered. Learn more & register today!
Take Back the Night March & Speak-Out
120 Smith Hall (for the speaker, where the march begins, and for Speak-Out after the march)
Guest Speaker Andrea Gibson will kick off this year's Take Back the Night March! Women all over the world have been shattering the silence around sexual assault and violence against women at Take Back the Night Marches for over 30 years. Join your fellow students at the University of Delaware as we "take back the night" and speak out against campus rape and violence. All are welcome to participate! Sponsored by Students Acting for Gender Equality (SAGE). Check back for details. Sexual Assault Prevention & Education Committee.