S.O.S. News

Spring 2015 Support Groups

Student Wellness & Health Promotion is offering a Sexual Assault Survivors' Support Group and a Healthy Relationships Support Group. They will not be open to the public. If interested, please call 831-3457 to schedule a 30-minute appointment. Group meetings will be 8-10 weeks, and will hopefully begin in the first week of March. Give yourself the gift of this experience!


Healthy Relationships vs. Intimate Partner Violence

At some point, most people think about or question how healthy their romantic relationship is. Check out the chart below, which provides a good contrast between relationships that are healthy and relationships that might be abusive. If you find that your relationship has even just one or two characteristics listed in the right-hand column, it may help you to talk to someone about your relationship. You may be in an unhealthy, or even abusive relationship.

Healthy relationships function based on mutual respect, trust, equality, honesty, and open communication. Both partners in a healthy relationship maintain their own separate identities, and both partners share in decision making. When basic respect is missing, abuse is more likely to occur. Relationships are abusive when they involve use of intimidation, coersion, pressure, manipulation, one person controlling the other, put-downs or name-calling, or violence.

Click to listen to our DV Counselor Jenn Ewald's Sept 4th interview with WVUD.

 

In a healthy relationship, you... In an unhealthy relationship, you...
Communicate openly & honestly. Are afraid of the other's reaction or temper.
Feel physically & emotionally safe. Feel threatened or like you are "walking on eggshells" around the other person.
Take interest in and support each other's lives: goals, ideas, interests, friends, etc. Discourage the other person's goals, ideas, interests, friends, etc.
Permit and have privacy. One tries to control the other: what they wear, who they spend time with, what they do, etc.
Trust one another. Are overly jealous and possessive.
Feel valued and cared for. One makes the other person feel badly about him/herself.
Treat each other with respect. One puts the other person down, calls names.
Enjoy the time you spend together. Feel afraid of the other person.
Can resolve conflicts in a non-abusive manner. Make threats, throw objects, push, grab, hit, punch, push, slap, hold down, or otherwise harm the person..
Respect each other's need for space. Don't allow the other person to leave during an argument.
Have outside friends. Seeing other friends is discouraged.
Make decisions together. Only one makes decisions; makes the other feel as though they can't make sound decisions.
Participate in sexual activity by free choice. One pressures the other to participate in sexual activity, or forces them against their will.
Both partners feel good about themselves and each other. One partner feels manipulated by the other and feels badly about self.

Learn more from a Delaware website about developing Safe and Respectful relationships where you can take the "Check Yourself" Quiz, view innovative Public Service Announcements made by Delaware teens, and read about becoming a Courageous Bystander (just to list a few great features!) Then check out Virginia's Red Flag Campaign to help you identify behaviors of concern or to view warning signs in a graphic art style illustration, visit Friends of Rosalind.


To learn more, talk about your relationship, or seek help:

Resources:

Child, INC. (Provides counseling, shelters, groups, parenting help, and information for teens and adults in Delaware regarding Intimate Partner Violence.)
Choose Respect
Dating Violence Resource Center
Delaware Coalition Against Domestic Violence
Domestic Violence Coordinating Council
Love is Respect
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
National Domestic Violence Hotline (Teen Dating Violence Information)
Red Flag Campaign (A Virginia resource to help you recognize unhealthy behaviors.)
Safe and Respectful Relationships for All (A Delaware resource about healthy relationships!)

To seek crisis support and victim advocacy 24 hrs a day from an SOS Victim Advocate, call 302-831-2226. The person who answers will take a first name and phone number and you will be called back within 10 minutes.

Upcoming Events!

Tues, March 24th, 7:00pm
Human Continuum: Where Do You Stand?
Independence West Lounge
You will not sit during this program! It is designed to help you clarify where you stand regarding a variety of sexual situations and whether they rise to the level of sexual harassment, sexual assault, or sexual abuse. Presented for the Sexual Assault Prevention & Education Committee by Sexual Offense Support (S.O.S.)
Thurs, April 16th, 6:30pm
SAGE's Annual Take Back the Night & Speak-Out
Stay tuned for details
Women all over the world have been shattering the silence around sexual assault and violence against women at Take Back the Night Marches for over 30 years. Join your fellow students at the University of Delaware to "take back the night," and join us after the march to Speak Out! against campus rape and violence. All are welcome to participate! Sponsored by Students Acting for Gender Equality (SAGE).
Thurs, April 16th
Doors open & refreshments at 6:15pm, Film at 7:00pm
Documentary: The Anonymous People with panel discussion
Rodney Room, Perkins Student Center
The Anonymous People is a feature documentary film about the over 23 million Americans living in long-term recovery from addiction to alcohol and other drugs. Panel discussion will follow about addiction and long-term recovery. Wear purple in support of UD going purple for the Purple Project! Free admission, suggested donation of $3 to benefit the Purple Project. Sponsored by the Collegiate Recovery Community, Elements Behavioral Health, and Student Wellness & Health Promotion.
Fri, April 17th, 8:00pm
Former NBA Player Chris Herren
Trabant Multi-Purpose Rooms
Chris Herren struggled with substance abuse for much of his basketball career. Drug-free and alcohol-free since August 1, 2008, he has refocused his life to put his sobriety and family above all else. Founder of the Herren Project and Project Purple, we encourage all attendees to wear purple for the event! Free admission, suggested donation to benefit the Purple Project. Sponsored by the Collegiate Recovery Community, Elements Behavioral Health, and Student Wellness & Health Promotion.
Mon, April 20th, Food & tables at 5:30pm, Speaker at 6:30pm
Annual Crime Victims' Tribute & Candlelight Vigil
Delaware State University, MLK Student Center Multi-Purpose Rooms
Speaker: Meredith Gardner Meredith Gardner's mother, Tammy Gardner, was murdered in Wilmington when she tried to escape a domestic violence relationship. Meredith was 12 years old and her brother was 10. Meredith will share how the crime impacted her life, and how meeting with the man who murdered her mother empowered her to pursue a career helping other crime victims. Those affected by crime are invited to bring writings, artwork or other meaningful items to be posted on the Memorial Walls which will be on display at the event. See the flyer. Sponsored by Delaware Victims' Rights Task Force. Calll 1-800-Victim1 for info or if you need accommodations. Free and open to the public.
Thurs, April 23rd, 6:30pm
"Party with Consent" with guest speaker Jonathin Kalin
Bacchus Theater, Perkins Student Center
This highly interactive program considers the reality that no students have their college's consent policy memorized. Participants will discuss consent, coersion, hookups, alcohol, sex, and sexual violence prevention. Sponsored by Interfraternity Council, Delaware MEN, and the SAPE Committee.
Fri, April 24th, 4:00-6:00pm
Student Wellness Coffeehouse with International Students
Office of International Students & Scholars, 44 Kent Way
Join Student Wellness Student Leaders from S.O.S., Opt4, Pow! & the Recovery Community for a coffeehouse with international students. Coffee and refreshments, and Student Wellness information & giveaways will be provided.