The slobberin' TrailDawgs
proudly present the 6th Annual
STUMPY'S MARATHON
7AM Sunday, September 9, 2007
Newark, Delaware

Once again, Stumpy is hosting his patented tail-thumping, knee-humping happy-birthday MARATHON!

The so-called "course" will be similar to last year's, spanning 3 parks and 2 states, including gently undulating hills, creek crossings, educational historic markers, single track trail, a bit of dirt/gravel road, and some reasonably level stretches where you can open up that dawgie stride.  For those who like asphalt, the trail crosses a few paved roads.   Last year's poison ivy patches, bramble swamps and steaming tick-infested meadows are now groomed pathways with pretty wood bridges...if you just close your eyes and use your imagination. The course covers a distance that is not grossly in excess of 26.2 miles.

Race amenities include a scenic racecourse with directional markings, some of which will be visible; a place to start; and a clearly defined finish where you can record your finish time.  All finishers will receive a handshake and maybe a signed certificate of completion from Stumpy himself or some other crummy keepsake.  Numerous water stations have been designated, and we might actually have water at some of them.  However, you should carry at least 20+ oz. of your preferred beverage in a refillable container, since the maximum distance between water stations may range anywhere from 5 to 26.2 miles.

In prior years we had a professional masseuse giving free post-race massages, and she may be at the finish again this year. (Whatever he tells you, do NOT let Stumpy try to give you a massage!) No race amenities are guaranteed, but you will get more than you pay for.

Our motto is, it's not a trail race if nobody gets lost.  Whiners will be immediately disqualified! You enter this race at your own risk, and are solely responsible for your own welfare and safety at ALL times.  Don't blame any race volunteer or organizer if you wander off trail, can't find a porta-potty in time, run into trees, trip over rocks or roots, fall down, get attacked by local fauna, get run over crossing a road, drown in the creek, or otherwise injure your body or self esteem.  The race course may include: dirt, bugs, water, dirty bugs, dirty water, mud, rocks, roots, fallen trees, vicious squirrels and other animals, snakes, the toothless guys from Deliverance suggesting you make a noise like a piggie, and other low-down nasty stuff. The park system (over 8,000 acres spanning DE, MD and PA) has frequent cougar sightings, so if you suspect a cougar is stalking you, rest assured that cougars generally do not attack mammals that are larger than they are (up to 250 pounds) except during mating season (early fall), and maulings by cougars are not always fatal.

Last year's race was, once again, a huge disappointment for the organizers, because the weather was okay, runners could actually see most of the trail marks if they looked closely, aid stations had actual people handing out stuff, the rangers weren't needed to put down any injured runners, and all the people who came out looking for a spouse or whatever went home with somebody, even if it wasn't who they arrived with. But this year we are anticipating overnight rain to wash away trail marks, followed by 100+ temps with humidity for the run itself; way more ticks, poison ivy and other fun stuff; aid station volunteers who'll get tired of ridiculing exhausted runners and quit early; armed and hostile property-owners who will be ready for us this year; and various other screw-ups to make this year's event a lot more thrilling than last year's.  

Registration is free, simply email (yah, he finally fixed the email account he maintains for his "extracurricular" activities!) the Royal Stumpmeister or regular mail to Stumpy's Marathon, c/o Stewart Dotts, 812 Branch Road, Newark, DE  19711

PLEASE PRE-REGISTER!

Stumpy has been making regular deposits into the Bank of Marital Bliss so that Mrs. Stumpy may feel inclined to host yet another pre-race pasta feed chez Stumpy the night before.   However, you must pre-register to be officially invited!

Directions From MD, VA on I-95N:  Take Newark/Elkton exit (last MD exit before DE toll) east into Newark.  After ~3 miles, Elkton Rd. narrows and merges onto Delaware Avenue.  Go through UD campus, then left at Burger King onto Chapel Street.  Go straight through and out of town, Chapel St. becomes Paper Mill Rd., go ~2 miles up long hill and turn right at Shell Station onto Possum Park Road.  Look for immediate left onto very narrow Possum Hollow Road at the Korean Church sign.  About 1/2 mile in turn left onto long dirt/gravel driveway into Middle Run Natural Area.  Follow driveway to the end, park and run.

Directions From NJ & PA on I-95S:  Take DE I-95 exit 4 onto Route 7 NORTH.  Go ~3 miles on Rt. 7 through any turns & traffic lights.  Turn left onto Rt. 2 (Kirkwood Hwy).  Go ~3 miles, turn right at Wendy’s onto Possum Park Road.  At top of long hill, turn right onto narrow Possum Hollow Road at the Korean Church sign before you reach the traffic light at Shell Station   About 1/2 mile in turn left onto long dirt/gravel driveway into Middle Run Natural Area.  Follow driveway to the end, park and run.