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The leg-liftin',
drink-from-the-toilet |
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You CAN teach old dawgs new tricks, but you can’t stop them from marking their territory. So once again, Stumpy is hosting his patented leg-lifting, tree-sniffing tail-thumping, knee-humping TrailDawgs marathon.
The "course" (if you want to call it that) is an interesting jaunt that is guaranteed to be at least 26.2 miles, and will not exceed 28 or maybe 35 miles. It will be vaguely the same as last year's, spanning 3 parks and 2 states, including gently undulating hills, at least one creek crossing, educational historic markers, single track trail, dirt/gravel roads, and a few level stretches where you can open up that dawgie stride. For those who like to run pavement, the trail crosses a few actual roads.
In the past a few runners have mentioned minor inconveniences such as losing their shoes in the sucking mud; getting stung by swarms of insane hornets, wasps and/or yellowjackets; getting chased by staggering froth-at-the-mouth rodents; and finding fully-engorged ticks on their private parts at the end of the day. We were hoping the state parks people would address these inconveniences, but of course the General Assembly couldn't allocate the money for it because hell, they didn't want to increase cigarette or liquor taxes to pay for it. So the best we can suggest is that you picture yourself in a happy place with bright, breezy meadows and groomed gravel pathways with pretty wood bridges, and we'll explain how to rid yourself of the chiggers, ticks and other appended fauna if, uh when you finish.
Race amenities include: a scenic racecourse with many barely-visible directional markings, a place to start, and a clearly defined finish where you can record your finish time. All finishers will receive a handshake and maybe a signed certificate of completion from Stumpy himself or some other crummy keepsake. Numerous water stations have been designated, and we hope to actually have water at some of them. However, you should carry at least 20+ oz. of your preferred beverage in a refillable container, since the maximum distance between water stations may range anywhere from 5 to 26.2 miles. In prior years we had a trained masseuse giving free post-race massages, and she may be at the finish again this year. (Whatever he tells you, do NOT let Stumpy try to give you a massage!) No race amenities are guaranteed, but you will get more than you bargain for.
Our motto is, “It’s not a trail race if nobody gets lost.” You enter this race at your own risk, and are solely responsible for your own welfare and safety at ALL times. Don’t blame any race volunteer or organizer if you wander off trail, can’t find a porta-potty in time, run into trees, trip over rocks or roots, fall down, get bitten by God knows what, get run over crossing a road, drown in the creek, or otherwise injure your body or self esteem. The race course may include: dirt, bugs, water, dirty bugs, dirty water, mud, rocks, roots, fallen trees, muddy squirrels, dirty snakes, the toothless guys from Deliverance suggesting you make a noise like a piggie, and other low-down nasty stuff.
Last year’s race was, once again, a huge disappointment for the organizers, because the weather was okay, runners could actually see most of the trail marks if they looked closely, aid stations had actual people handing out stuff, the rangers weren’t needed to “put down” any injured runners, and all the people who came out looking for a spouse or whatever went home with somebody, even if it wasn't who they arrived with. But this year we are anticipating overnight rain to wash away trail marks, followed by 100+ temps with humidity for the run itself; way more ticks, poison ivy and other fun stuff; aid station volunteers who'll get bored ridiculing exhausted runners and quit early; armed and hostile property-owners who will be ready for us this year; and various other screw-ups to make this year’s event way funner than last year's.
Registration is free, simply email
the Royal
Stumpmeister or regular mail to Stumpy's
Marathon, c/o Stewart Dotts, 812 Branch Road, Newark, DE 19711.
It would be really swell if folks would actually let us know they're coming,
like before they show up on Saturday morning.
Stumpy has been making regular deposits into the Bank of Marital Bliss so that Mrs.
Stumpy may feel inclined to host yet another pre-race
pasta feed chez Stumpy the night before.
But you aren't invited if you don't pre-register.
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Stumpy's Marathon--Participant Waiver: I know that running a trail race is a potentially dangerous activity. I certify that I am medically fit and properly trained for this event. I acknowledge that the course will include dangerous footing, traffic at road crossings and other hazards, and I assume full responsibility for all risks I incur in running on it. I understand that such risks include, but are not limited to: injuries from falls, collisions with people and/or objects, heat, humidity, dehydration, getting lost, ticks, insect bites, poison ivy, physical exhaustion. Knowing these facts, and in consideration for being allowed to participate in this event, I hereby for myself, my heirs, executors, administrators and other claimants on my behalf, agree to hold harmless, waive my right to sue and exempt from all liability any member of the TrailDawgs, any county or state park agency or employee, the race director, any course official, volunteer, sponsor, or anyone else associated with this event, for any personal injury, death, damage or loss of property or other harm that I may suffer from this event. In plain English, if I get injured in any way by participating in this run, it’s entirely my own damn fault and I’m not going to blame or sue anyone else for it. BY MY SIGNATURE BELOW, I ATTEST THAT I HAVE READ, UNDERSTAND AND AGREE TO THIS WAIVER: Signature:__________________________________
Date:____________ |
Race Start/Finish Location: Main parking lot of New Castle County’s
Middle Run Natural Area, near the end of Possum Hollow Road. See: http://www.traildawgs.org/dawgs_meeting_spots.GIF
or http://maps.google.com/maps?q=newark,de&ll=39.715515,-75.730535&spn=0.010651,0.019538&hl=en
Directions From MD, VA on I-95N: Take Newark/Elkton exit (last MD
exit before DE toll) east into Newark. After ~3 miles, Elkton Rd. narrows
and merges onto Delaware Avenue. Go through UD campus, then left at
Burger King onto Chapel Street. Go straight through and out of town,
Chapel St. becomes Paper Mill Rd., go ~2 miles up long hill and turn right at
Shell Station onto Possum Park Road. Look for immediate left onto very
narrow Possum Hollow Road at the Korean Church sign. About 1/2 mile in
turn left onto long dirt/gravel driveway into Middle Run Natural Area.
Follow driveway to the end, park and run.
Directions From NJ & PA on I-95S: Take DE I-95 exit 4 onto
Route 7 NORTH. Go ~3 miles on Rt. 7 through any turns & traffic
lights. Turn left onto Rt. 2 (Kirkwood Hwy). Go ~3 miles, turn
right at Wendy’s onto Possum Park Road. At top of long hill, turn right
onto narrow Possum Hollow Road at the Korean Church sign before you reach the
traffic light at Shell Station About 1/2 mile in turn left onto
long dirt/gravel driveway into Middle Run Natural Area. Follow driveway
to the end, park and run.
Local Accommodations:
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Best Western Delaware Inn
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Red Roof Inn |
Fairfield Inn
Newark/Christiana |
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Courtyard Suites by
Marriott |
Comfort Suites |
McIntosh Inn of Newark
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Embassy Suites |
Comfort Inn |
Christiana Hilton Inn
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Sleep Inn |
Howard Johnson Hotel &
Suites |
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This is an organized “fun run”
with our friends--no fee, no prizes, no wimps, no whining.
This is an authentic, deep-fried, certified and sanctified Trail Dawgs event
(accept no substitutes!)...
basically what we do every weekend with our Dawg friends. http://www.traildawgs.org/
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Stumpy’s Marathon |
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