Horrible !!!   That is the best word to describe our day at the race.  Three Traildawgs decided to take on this "flat and fast" course along the coast of New Jersey from Sandy Hook to Seabright. With 20 miles of the course heading south and the prevailing winds usually blowing from the northwest this time of year we thought it would be a good Boston qualifier for Tom Tattersall and Kathy (Buzz) Johnson and I.  Tom and Kathy needed 6 minutes off their PR and I needed 38 (OK, so it won't happen but I can dream can't I?)

Tom drove up to pick up the packets on Friday.  I thought he was just showing his right as an American to use as much gas as he wants (no political connotation) actually he said he heard you should drive to the course prior to the race so you can see the terrain.  I pointed out that you are supposed to drive on the course not to it. Meanwhile John wanted to teach us a lesson for signing up for a race on the same weekend as the Triple Crown so he had all the church volunteers pray that we will burn in hell for not taking part in his event. Needless to say the weather was perfect for his event and ours was about as close as you can get to hell while still here. 

We arrived in Seabright at 5:00am and waited for the 6:00am buses to take us to the Sandy Hook start. At that time Nor'Easter Bubba made landfall right at Sandy Hook.  First the was the torrential rain, which, was coming down sideways from the east. At least it's not from the south I said. We rode to the parking lot and got off the bus. The winds were howling 20-30mph and blowing the rain. We went into the bathrooms and the lights didn't work. In the pitch black we found the stalls. As I came out someone announced we had been dropped off at the wrong parking lot so get back on the bus. We got back on and rode to the correct lot. When we got there we didn't see Tom.  Back at the other lot Tom has just come out of the bathroom to find almost everyone gone. Luckily another bus came by to pick them up too.   The weather was so miserable that I hung out in the men's room for a while. I tried to sit on the floor but when it got crowded the was a guy standing right in front of me with his number pinned to the front his shorts. Since it was right at eye level I started reading where he was from and he caught me looking toward his crotch, got this weird look on his face and left. Meanwhile, Kathy hung out in the back of a concession stand, and Tom hung out in a large event tent. Then they announced that the busses were available for shelter so Tom and I went to different busses to sit down. After a couple of minutes the dispatcher called our bus driver and told her she had to make another run and we had to get off. Mine was the only bus called. I had to stand in the tent for 2 1/2 hours where someone gave me a Mylar blanket to stop the shivering.  Meanwhile Tom was warm seated on the bus and Kathy was warm seated inside the concession stand. People stood on the base of the tent flaps to keep them down and the water was still flowing under them like a stream. 

At 8:45am we left the tent for the start of the race. As we stood at the start the winds suddenly shifted to the south and the rain slowed down. We noticed Tom has silver on his hands from his Mylar blanket. He looked like the Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz.  We started to sing the song from the movie "If I only had a brain" (I know it was the scarecrow but anyone that was running in that weather needed a brain). Then the gun went off.  The first few miles was with the wind so it was warm. We ran around Sandy Hook National Seashore Park. Tom was quickly out in front and Kathy lost me at a mile 3 water stop when the headwinds started.  At mile 5 my legs started getting heavy. I blamed it on the 2 1/2 hours I had to stand before the race and the headwind and slowed my pace slightly. At mile 6 the headwinds full fury started and never let up until 22 miles. They were blowing 20-30mph from the south, blowing constantly, directly into our faces. then the rain started to pick up again. I started talking to other guys but when I came up a woman and tried to strike up a conversation with her she suddenly puked.

I kept running out of the park, along the seawall and down the coast. The headwinds were so strong that every time another gust came up I slowed to a crawl and the puddles had waves blowing across them. Even drafting didn't work too good.  By mile 10 I was ready to quit. I started looking for a bailout vehicle at each mile marker. I came upon the same woman I tried to talk to earlier and just as I asked her if she was alright she puked again. Since it seemed as though I make women sick I stuck to talking with guys after that.

At the halfway point I still didn't find a way to bail out. That's the problem with a point to point race. I was imagining coming in well after 4 hours and Tom and Kathy getting upset that they waited so long for me. I kept going and after a while a guy passed me that was wearing shorts inside out. The pockets were on the outside of the back and he had gels in them. I kept watching the gels bounce thinking they were about to bounce out when I suddenly realized that I could be accused of watching this guys butt. I watched the ocean instead.

Around mile 17 I was taking a walk break when Kathy came up behind me. She had been having stomach problems (probably from talking to me) and had to walk a few miles. The headwind had done her in too. We decided to run/walk the rest of the headwind portion together while we looked for a car to take us to the finish. In Seabright we passed some of the largest mansions we had ever seen. They looked like the mansion from the Beverly Hillbillies in grandeur and they were on the beach. A ten million dollar pricetag would have easily been attached to some. They all had names for their homes. This gave me an idea. Maybe my house would be more prestigious if I named it after Granogue in Beaver Valley. I will call it Granola.  Shortly before the turnaround we saw Tom. The wind had done him in too. He had been expecting us to pass him but he was 2 miles ahead.   Finally the turnaround at mile 22. It was in a neighborhood of contemporary (sometimes weird) homes.  We even saw the house from "Weekend at Bernies". Then we started to run with the wind again...Hurray! Then it got warm and the rain stopped. We were freezing while fighting the wind now I was wearing a singlet and sweating. I reached a water stop and dropped my last ibuprofen on the road. I was so desperate that I ate it anyway (eewww gross). I would have yelled at my kids for doing it. At mile 25 the pace team for 4:30 passed us and we decided we weren't going to let that happen so we kicked it in. We finished a few minutes ahead of them and 15 minutes behind Tom. We all agreed to never discuss this race again and we all swore that we will not run anymore marathons again. Then we decided to wait until the fall.

In all fairness the race organizers did a good job with lots of water stops and Ultima (yuk). we didn't find gels but Kathy did find a Cliff Bar at one stop.  Only complaints were the excessive amount of time we were bussed early to the start and the lack of food.   Just bagels, bananas, and yogurt at the finish.  Atmosphere was very friendly and at the finish they placed the medal on you and wrapped you in a Mylar blanket.

--Larry Anthony