Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22): In the coming year you will get into trouble with the Chair of your Department because you have started a romance with an overdue book. This will become known as improper library attachment and you will be referred to as a bibliophile throughout campus. From there on, things get worse. Yes, I said worse--what did you think this was anyway, some sap-filled horoscope column that tells you sugar-coated lies? Really, things get worse from there on. You develop a kinship with dictionaries and are constantly thumbing them while riding public transportation. This makes The Chronicle of Higher Education as a feature article. The American Library Association revokes your library privileges nationwide. Librarians have your picture circulated and are on the alert to bar you from their card catalogs, manual or computerized. All is not lost, however. You appear on Geraldo, sign a video deal, and win a university-wide teaching award three years in a row.