LOUIE LOUIE AEROBICS--LOSE WEIGHT AND IMPROVE YOUR TEACHING! He's back, he's bold, he's classroom bad--Louie the Great from Stone Mountain, Georgia, one of the most sublime teaching gurus of this or any other time. You may have read some of his incoherent drivel on some newsgroup where you can post any old thing--but that is the key, isn't it? Any old thing! Louie has transcended those mundane teaching ratings (and lost weight) by digressing--not for a few minutes, but for the rest of his life. Throw off those chains of course material and textbooks! Go free--you don't need a syllabus, you don't need to care what the course title is, you don't need to be a slave to grade rosters and deadlines! Hah! (To quote Jim Himself Selfsame Incorporated.) Why proceed in a businesslsike manner when the students will just hate you, the chair will dislike you as well, and the Dean will poke fun at your drab attire? Hah! Double Hah! Triple Hah! Learn how hyperactivity can work for you, too. Treble the rate at which you can talk. Multiply by a factor of ten the speed with which you can flap your arms. Learn projectible sputtering and spitting for emphasis in a large lecture hall. Master the gyrations, the leaps, the jumps, the gawky but fast bounding about--all the great stuff that Louie Louie has shown works. You can be uttering nonsense syllables, and if you move fast enough, and gesture wildly enough, 97% of all students will claim you were giving the best lecture they ever heard. They will claim this even though they can't say what you were talking about--a sure sign that you have arrived. All kinetics, no content! Learn this hyperactive, calorie-burning approach from the best: formerly flabby Louie Louie. His mind may be all saturated fat, but his motions are unrhymed poetry in motion. And, he is worshipped inside of weeks by his students. Did you hear me: worshipped! They send letters to the Dean praising his commitment to something or other....all you need is that commitment part to impress a Dean. So, how, you are no doubt asking, can you learn from Louie Louie the Great? By video in your own livingroom. At first you will draw the blinds and giggle. Inside of a week, with daily practice, you will have shed ten pounds and increased your course evaluations by a full number on the verified 1 to 5 scale, unmarked, in common use in the Americas now. No more notes, no more anything that takes higher mental faculties: just hyperactivity when the bell rings and you will kill two birds with one rapid motion--up go the student ratings, down go the readings on your bathroom scale. Order now and order often: $79.95 per two-tape set. VHS and Beta. Please specify which, we aren't mind readers here. Get those pedagogical endorphins going in your blood stream now--before it is too late and they order you (yes, order you) to attend some teaching thing on your campus.