Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 23): Librans emanate a kind of clarity not unlike that of saran wrap. They also, and this year especially, are fighters for justice and better parking spaces on campus. Why should other people park closer to the building than you? Why should others get the Tuesday/Thursday schedule? Justice is as justice does (to quote a Nobel laureate). Librans of the world cannot stand this imbalance and they will rise up to protest the way in which the ruling academic group has been treating the chalk-eaters (yes, let them eat chalk! hah!). The Libran professors will stand on the mall and shout "What about Lawrence Welk, huh? What about everyone from North Dakota?" The school newspaper will report this as a protest about grade inflation.