JOIN THE CENTER! Become a Simply Marvelous Associate of Jim's Center. Monthly dues: $49.87. Your membership kit includes a wallet-size membership card that you can show to campus security guards and reference librarians. The kit includes, as well, the Jimbo Principles of Pretty Darn Good Pedagogy, all thirty seven of them. Members are to recite the sacred principles before each class they teach, and thereby reach a state of Classroom Detachment (true Emptiness, mental and physical both). Of course we cannot divulge any of the principles here; they are sacred, like the Phi Beta Kappa handshake, and so you have to pay to see them. But thousands of professors are using them daily to reach a state of "white-chalk" blankness for upwards of a full 50 minutes. These blessed individuals have absolutely no recall for the period of time the principles are active in their pedagogue systems. They, we might say, don't remember a thing. You can achieve similar classroom bliss if you join the Center. Your membership also makes you eiligible for discount prices on the full array of simply marvelous instructional support services, such as individual consultations with our crackerjack staff sitting right next to the teaching hotline ($2.99 for the first minute, $4.99 every minute thereafter). Only members have that hotline number--and so only members can receive instant, fully accredited, collaborative, sure-fire counseling in crisis situations (like when a student spits on you from a passing car or throws beer cans on your lawn late at night). And members also receive the occasional newsletter "Acute Care For Teaching Trauma". The newsletter also contains some great recipes, especially for casserole dishes that you can fix in less than fifteen minutes in the microwave. If you are serious about the teaching-learning process, you owe it to yourself to join Jim's Center today or, if it's real real busy today, then tomorrow at the latest.