Nieves Gonzalez
October 15, 2004
General V R/W
“Go home and take care of your children!” shouted a spectator to a woman playing soccer. “I don’t want to hire you because you might get pregnant, and it would be a problem for my company,” a manager said to a woman who was looking for a job. Nobody would think of saying things like that to a male soccer player or worker. Today there are still people who think that the ultimate purpose of a woman is to have babies and to look after them, but this attitude does not extend to men. Also, some people think that if you are a woman, you are not useful for anything else. Excuse me! We live in the Twenty-first Century and this type of behavior and mentality is changing and must change. Behind the question of whether a woman with small children should work or not there is a dangerous problem of machismo that women have been suffering from for centuries. But, it’s time for this situation to change. My grandmother couldn’t choose, but I can; therefore, I may choose to have a baby and work, or not to have children and work, or maybe to have a child and not work. But it is my choice. If I decide to have a baby, am I a bad mother because I work too? Is my baby sad or ill or is he less loved because I am not at home all day? I don’t think so. A baby needs love; it is not important where this love comes from. Before now, women like my grandmother, were so frustrated because they loved their children, but they also wanted to develop themselves in other aspects of their lives. However, the society didn’t consider them capable of being scientists, or of 1 going to a university, or of earning more money than a man. Can you believe that? Now, sociological studies show that girls who study get better grades than boys, are harder workers than men, are more responsible, and these are only a few examples of what women are capable of doing. A Woman shouldn’t feel guilty about looking to develop as a human being and not focusing only on being a mother. We can do all that we want, and we are able to do it very well. Please, don’t put any barriers in my way. In my opinion, if a woman has a baby and she also works, it will be beneficial for the baby, for the mother, and for the society.
Firstly, everybody knows that babies need plenty of love and care, and their parents have to provide them with all that they need. Scientists say that babies, even before they are born, can feel if people who are with them are nervous, stressed, or anxious. Also, if they feel these feelings when they are babies, this can influence their lives negatively when they are growing up and when they are teenagers. If you are with your baby, but you are sad, anxious, or frustrated because you are thinking that you are losing another important part of your life, who wins in this situation? Also, when your baby is older, he will realize that you are not happy taking care of him, and he may feel guilty about this situation. But there is an alternative: for instance, my father took care of me when I was a baby, and I think that he did a very good job because I was the happiest girl in the world. I had all the love that I needed, and when my mother arrived at home in the evening or during the weekend she could enjoy time with me. I never felt that my mother didn’t love me. I saw that my parents were happy; therefore, I felt good and I loved both of them. Don’t you think that this is the principal aim? Babies must be happy, healthy, and loved. Based on all this information, it can be assured that babies must 2 receive love from someone, but just not necessarily from the mother. I think that I was a normal baby, and now I consider myself a normal woman. I am not happier, healthier, or better than other women; neither am I less so. Moreover, I think that if babies are taken care of by their fathers, they will be more open-minded than other people. These babies live in a different and still not fully accepted situation, and I think that this will help them to understand and accept better the differences that exist in this world and situations that people now don’t consider “normal.” Another positive influence on babies, if both parents share their care, is that they enjoy two different human aspects. Men and women are “different,” so babies can enrich themselves from two different natures and two different pints of view: female and male. If babies are taken care of only by the mother, I think they lose another very important aspect of their family: their fathers who have many things to give and to show them.
Secondly, every human being has the need for social relations to feel a part of this society. In fact, we evaluate the success of any person based on their labor success. Also, it is a fact that working gives you independence and helps you to be able to make decisions by yourself, which is essential for your development as a human being. What will happen if you are divorced from your husband? You will have babies, bills to pay, food to buy, and you will not have a job. When you go to get a job, they won’t ask you, “How are your children? How many do you have?” They will ask you about your studies and your experience in the labor market. On the other hand, if you are married and you have to stay at home, but your family doesn’t have enough money to survive, your husband will have to work more hours. In this case the father will never have time to be at home, and your baby will never see him. Is this fair for the baby or for the father? One 3 possible solution would be that mothers and fathers share child-care duties. In fact, more and more men are claiming their rights to be involved in the care of their children. By means of this balance, women can have the opportunity to be whole human beings, developing all their capacities, and being good and happy mothers.
Thirdly, there are many examples of how working women have been contributing greatly to develop the society. These contributions have been hidden by the sexist society. One of these examples is the history of Rosalind Frankling. She was a brilliant scientist, but she made a mistake: she was a woman. For this reason, she had no support for her work, and people didn’t consider her results important. But she overcame all these impediments, problems which she suffered only because she was a woman. However, she spent her whole life on research and on the attempt to be considered a complete human being. In the 1950s Rosalind succeeded in taking a DNA X-ray picture, after days of being exposed to the X-rays. These rays are very dangerous for people, and perhaps they were the cause of her death; she died from cancer. This picture allowed the discovery of the structure of DNA. As Rosalind was a woman she never got the recognition for this great discovery. In fact, two men (Watson and Crick) appropriated her job to go on with the investigation. They received the Nobel Prize in 1962 for determining the molecular structure of DNA. Nowadays, the scientific community recognizes the value of her work. This example is only one among plenty of examples that demonstrate that many women have a lot of skills and concerns, sometimes totally different from maternity, that they can develop in order to improve the society (e.g., as physicists, doctors, politicians, or journalists). Women can provide this society with a lot of interesting, new, and important discoveries in all aspects of life, and the society can improve with these contributions. As 4 a result, when the current society doesn’t allow women to choose their lifestyles and careers freely, they are choosing to have one child or none. That is why the European governments have a serious problem: the majority of couples don’t have any children or only one. The population is getting older and older. The question is: who is going to work to pay for the retirements in the future? There will not be enough people working to pay for them. If women could combine maternity and personal development, it would be beneficial for the society as well as for individual women.
To sum up, it’s demonstrated that babies need love, but it is not important if it’s the mother or the father who takes care of them. The quantity of time is not important; what is important is the quality of this time. Babies love their parents; for this reason they need and must spend time with both of them in order to be happy and completed children. Maternity is a gift and should be a personal and free election; it mustn’t be a new barrier for the personal and professional development of a woman. However, women feel that it is. Consequently the birthrate is getting lower and lower, which is detrimental to the society. If a human being, a woman in this case, can develop her wishes, she will feel better about herself and about the society. If you feel happy, secure, and free, you will be a better mother, a better worker, a better wife, and a better member of the society. I don’t know about you, but If I had a daughter I would like to think that she was going to be happy and that she would be able to do all what she wished. I wouldn’t want for her to have to die only to show that she is intelligent or that she is a human being with her own ideas and personality. Finally, the society can be improved with all that we are able to contribute. It’s time for women to work with men in order to create a better and fairer 5 world for our descendants. The Constitution says that all of us are equal independently of our sex, religion, or race. Governments must insure that this is a reality for everybody. 6