At the 2001 ACEI Annual International Conference and Exhibition in Toronto, the Intermediate/Middle Childhood Committee sponsored a special session. During this interesting and informative presentation, panelists Jill C. Hunter, Linda Matwichuk, and Kathy Olthof shared information related to using knowledge of intermediate and middle childhood students (ages 9-15) to foster more positive parent-child relationships and promote collaboration among teachers and parents.
Parents often describe adolescence as an extremely stressful and tension-filled period. Since adolescent-parent relationships are major factors in determining smooth transitions from preteen to teen to adult, any knowledge that educators can share to help parents better understand their children is very valuable. Parental education about physical, cognitive, and social characteristics that are unique to this stage of development could lead to more positive relationships between parents and adolescents, and contribute to adolescent school success.
Sensitive educators can provide facts about physical changes during this period, with an emphasis upon diversity in development and growth rates. The adults can help ease young adolescents’ transition by answering questions directly, and reassuring them that their growth will balance out. Thus, when they reach adulthood, they won’t go through life tripping over their “gargantuan” feet and landing on their “catcher-mitt” hands. Parental involvement in sensitive discussions about physical changes can lead to increased security for adolescents.
Teachers need to be aware of, and alert parents to, community support that is available for adolescents and their families in order to keep students socially, emotionally, and physically safe. It is important to help parents be aware of when their children are getting into dangerous situations. Linda Matwichuk suggests that the best advice to give parents is to spend time with adolescents and maintain open dialogues. They also can watch for abrupt or marked changes in academic performance or social activities.
What do adolescents consider to be the ideal parent? Jill Hunter found that children want parents who are happy people with good dispositions and a sense of humor. They want parents to create a happy home and set a good example.
Young adolescents express a desire for their families to support their extracurricular activities.
Young Adolescents Say . . .
We want adults to:
The working parent with 19 loads of laundry a week and daily trips to the grocery
store gets tired. When confronted with a child’s demand for undivided attention,
the parent may overreact and snap, “I hear with my ears and listen with
my brain—keep talking, I am listening!” So with all respect to busy
parents, the following suggestions are offered:
Parents must face the fact that they need to “let go” as their children struggle toward adulthood. Remember, however, that the butterfly cut free of the cocoon too soon will not survive. Young adolescents who are supported in safe environments by loving and caring adults can risk learning to apply strategies that will free them to be active participants in meaningful communities.
—Cordially, Jeanie Burnett
Vice President for Intermediate/Middle Childhood
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