UpDate - Vol. 11, No. 8, Page 8
October 24, 1991
Special program for men to educate on date rape

     Most men want to be involved in the fight against sexual
assault but have no idea where to begin. A new program to be held
during Sexual Assault Awareness Week may hold the answer.
     Paul Ferguson, coordinator of Sexual Offense Support and
assistant director of Student Health Services, and William
Perlstein, a doctoral student in clinical psychology, will conduct
a program, "What Men Can Do," designed to offer guidance to men who
want to get involved in this issue.
     Ferguson said one of the purposes of the program is to educate
the University community about rape, particularly date rape. He
said that most people correctly define and recognize stranger rape
but have a number of misconceptions about date rape.
     "Many people think there is no such thing as date rape. They
think it's a right of passage for freshman women-a form of dating
behavior," he said.
     Another common misconception is that if alcohol is involved,
it is not rape. Alcohol consumption does not excuse a man from what
he has done, Ferguson said.
     Perhaps the most common misconception is that a woman really
means "yes" when she says "no".
     According to Ferguson, most men do not plan a date rape. In
fact, he said, most do not identify their behavior as criminal or
even inappropriate.
     "I wouldn't label them as bad people. I label their behavior
as bad," he said, "and behavior can be changed through education
and awareness and support within their own peer group."
     Another purpose of the program is to teach men the skills
necessary to emotionally support survivors of sexual assault.
     "The great majority of men want to be supportive of survivors.
Most are well-motivated, but wrong in the way they handle it," he
said. "They need to recognize that it's difficult for the woman to
talk about the experience."
     He added that, typically, men are not socialized to be
nurturing and are often unsure of how to handle themselves in these
situations. "They may unintentionally lay blame with questions like
'What were you doing there?' 'Why were you drinking?' 'Why were you
wearing that?' Or they get many angry and want to go get the guy.
Neither one helps the survivor.
     "We really need to work at providing them with the tools to be
able to deal with these kinds of things," he said.
     The program will also offer ways men can help prevent rape.
One important step toward prevention is keeping the lines of
communication open in a sexual relationship.
     "You need to define where you want to go in the relationship.
If you're not sure if your partner wants sex, ask," he said.
     "We've always left it up to the woman to stop the man from
what he was doing, and I would argue that the man has much more
responsibility to stop himself and to find out very clearly what it
is she wants," he added.
     Another step toward prevention is personalizing sex more. "We
tend to objectify people we don't know well," he said. "That's not
just a one-night stand. It's someone's daughter, girlfriend,
sister-someone else's loved one."
     Ferguson hopes to attract a diversity of people, both men and
women, to "What Men Can Do."
     Sexual Assault Awareness Week is scheduled Oct. 28-Nov. 1.
"What Men Can Do" will be held from 3-5 p.m. on Monday, Oct. 28, in
the Collins Room of the Perkins Student Center.
                                        - Denise Arroyo