University of Delaware Office of Public Relations The Messenger Vol. 6, No. 1/1996 Examining the value of family Variety is the spice of Ben Yagoda's writing life. The UD associate professor of English, who teaches journalism, has written a successful biography of Will Rogers and magazine articles for publications ranging from the Saturday Review and The New York Times Magazine to Playboy. Currently, he is working with Kevin Kerrane, professor of English at the University, on an anthology of literary journalism, to be used as a text for journalism courses, and he is researching a book on the history of The New Yorker magazine. Add to these projects that he has coauthored a series of books with Ruth Westheimer, a well-known sex therapist, better known to a wide TV and radio audience as Dr. Ruth. Their latest collaboration is The Value of Family: A Blueprint for the 21st Century. Yagoda first met Dr. Ruth through his agent when she was seeking an author to help her write her life story. "We met about 10 years ago, hit it off and have been collaborating ever since, although, at this time, we have no plans for a further book," Yagoda says. For her autobiography, All in a Lifetime, Yagoda turned on a tape recorder, asked Dr. Ruth a few questions and they were off and running. When talking to some people, it's hard to get more than a monosyllable in reply, but the opposite holds true for Dr. Ruth, Yagoda says. Subsequent books they coauthored are Dr. Ruth's Guide to Safer Sex and Dr. Ruth Talks to Kids About Sex and Growing Up. Dr. Ruth is qualified to write a book on families, not only because of her professional qualifications but because of her own life experiences, Yagoda says. An only child born to a close family in Germany, she lost her parents and grandmother in the Holocaust and spent World War II in a home for German-Jewish children in Switzerland. She moved to Israel, lived in a kibbutz, and eventually came to the United States for a visit with an uncle and decided to remain. She was married and divorced twice and struggled as a single parent to raise her daughter, before remarrying and having a son. Now, she is enthusiastically enjoying the role of grandmother, he says. "She looks upon all these experiences as different kinds of family life, from the traditional nuclear family to the communal family, where children help to raise each other. She knows firsthand about being a single parent and about step-parenting," Yagoda says. Professionally, Dr. Ruth is an educator. She was teaching education at the college level when sex education in the schools became an important issue. Always a volunteer, Yagoda says, she agreed to become knowledgeable about sex education, later becoming a licensed sex therapist. A public radio station was looking for a sex therapist for an after midnight slot, and again she volunteered, became an early-morning celebrity and found a new career. For The Value of Family, Yagoda and Dr. Ruth had brainstorming sessions on what constitutes a family today and on family issues-from teenage pregnancy and increased divorce rate to mothers in the workplace and the role of fathers. The book is written as a first-person narrative by Dr. Ruth, but the concepts are mutual. Yagoda did most of the research for the book, interviewing experts, reading background material and collecting demographic information on which much of the book is based. "Today, there are many kinds of families-not just Ozzie and Harriet and 2.3 children-and there is no turning back the clock," Yagoda says. "A large segment of the population consists of single, unmarried or widowed people without children, some involved in relationships, and then there are single parents, grandparents, step-parents, homosexual couples and teenagers raising children. These families are under many pressures and need support, not isolation, from society, friends and other family members." The last chapters of the book deal with how the government, business and schools can help strengthen families. Economics play a major role in family stability, according to the authors, so that job training and opportunities, education, private and public innovative programs are vital in helping families. The last chapter is entitled, "What You Can Do For Your Family," because as the authors point out, "ultimately, each family is on its own." The chapter does not "contain a foolproof recipe for making your clan loving, harmonious, loyal, steadfast and true." However, the authors suggest that the two "most vital qualities" for nurturing a family are "love and commitment." Some of the activities for strengthening family ties include meals (without TV or other distractions), vacations, reunions ("with plenty of food, drink and ample photo opportunities") and using e-mail to communicate with distant relatives. Returning to Ozzie and Harriet, the authors contend that the "little white house in the suburbs where nobody dies and nobody gets sick beyond a case of the sniffles is a lie. In every family, there will be storms to be weathered. With any luck, the family will emerge from the crisis or hard times more closely tied together than it was before." -Sue Swyers Moncure