Help for grieving children

When it comes to death and grieving, children often are "the forgotten mourners," says Madeline Lambrecht of the College of Health and Nursing Sciences.

Parents may be overwhelmed by their own grief after a death in the family, and well-meaning teachers and other adults may not know what to say to a child or a teenager--or, even, if they should say anything at all. Now, however, a Delaware task force has created a comprehensive web site to provide help and guidance.

Developed over an 18-month period, "Supporting Grieving Children and Families," [www.udel.edu/dsp/sgcf], became operational in late October. It was created by the Death Education Task Force of the Delaware End-of-Life Coalition, a group chaired by Lambrecht, who is director of the CHNS Division of Special Programs and a professor of nursing. The site is hosted on the University's server, and Lambrecht says the project reflects the College's commitment to the development of community partnerships.

"We wanted to create a resource for teachers and other school personnel who are trying to be supportive to students who are grieving," she says. "Even though the site was developed for school personnel, it's comprehensive in scope and should be helpful to parents and students as well."

Task force member Rosie Zappo, director of communication and development for Delaware Hospice and a co-founder of the Delaware End-of-Life Coalition, calls the web site "an excellent resource for people of all ages [and] for the professional as well."

Members of the task force are from a variety of backgrounds, including UD faculty, nurses, schoolteachers and counselors. They represent health-care providers, hospices, funeral homes, high schools and the Delaware Department of Education, among other institutions.

"Supporting Grieving Children and Families" lists such resources as books, articles, newsletters, videos, CD-ROMs, web links, support groups, summer camps, hospice services and speakers available in the Delaware area. The resources are organized by topics, which include the death of a parent or grandparent, the terminal illness of a sibling and the loss of a pet.

Teachers throughout Delaware, from kindergarten through 12th grade, have been introduced to the site at in-service educational sessions. Lambrecht says many have expressed the need for such a directory of information and services about loss and grieving.

"Teachers and other school personnel welcome these kinds of resources," she says. "Even if they find death a difficult subject to discuss personally, they're caring people who want to support the children as much as they can."

Pat Yount, an art teacher at Glasgow High School near Newark, Del., is one of those seeking a way to help students with the grieving process. About two years ago, she took one of Lambrecht's courses on the subject of loss and, as one of her assignments, did a project on helping high school students deal with death.

"I heard a lot of personal stories from my students, and it really touched me to think about what they were going through, so I got involved in the task force," Yount says. "My research showed me that there's a direct correlation between your support system and how well you cope. Since the teenage years are so difficult anyway, I wanted to make people aware of what can be done to support these kids who are grieving."

Other task force members also brought their own perspectives and expertise to the web site development. Steve Goodwin, associate professor in the CHNS Department of Health and Exercise Sciences, says he became interested in the project because he teaches a course to prospective teachers on how to educate students about mental-health issues.

Death, he says, "is one of those areas that people are often very uncomfortable discussing, and yet, almost everyone is going to have to deal with it." He says he's pleased with the comprehensive and user-friendly nature of the web site.

"There's really something for everybody, regardless of their age or the type of loss they're experiencing," Goodwin says.

Lambrecht, whose students previewed the web site and offered suggestions, calls it "a work in progress" that will be updated regularly. She says the task force hopes teachers will use the information not only to help individual students but also to incorporate the topics of loss and grieving into the curriculum, showing students that death is a part of life.

Janet Arns Ray, an education associate with the Delaware Department of Education and a member of the task force, says the site helps support the department's efforts to link health and social development to learning.

"A resilient child has a much better chance to achieve in life," Ray says. "Having support services and resources, such as the web site developed by the Death Education Task Force, a teacher or school counselor can help a student cope."

The "Supporting Grieving Children and Families" web site is dedicated to the memory of Jane Davidson, a member of the task force, a faculty member in UD's Department of Individual and Family Studies and a teacher for the University Laboratory Preschool.

--Ann Manser, AS '73, CHEP '73